Daddy, Dearest.
by Lynn Luther
Summary: When a mysterious girl claiming to be Jack's daughter comes to Pulau Pulau, all heck breaks loose! This is version 3!! (Stupid buggy code.) Please r & r!!
1. Default Chapter

_Ok. Well. This is now my THIRD upload of this story, and hopefully this will be the one that sticks. _

I've tried to get all of the buggy code out of this story so you won't see all the weird little letters with various umlats and accents over them, but no promises, eh? 

I'd like to thank LMRS, Emmygirl and aeverett for their contributions to the story. All characters, with one exception, belong to Renaisannce Pictures and not to me. You know this by now, I'm sure. 

On with the story, for the third smegging time! 

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Ah, morning on Pulau Pulau. The squawking of various poultry, the shrieks of the vendors hawking their wares, the slapping of the salt sea against the hulls of abused ships, the French Gendarmes, tramping noisily thru the sand... 

Jack wandered the island slightly after dawn an a chilly Monday morning. Muttering to himself the whole time, of course. 

"Flingin' flangin' woman. That girl is going to be the death of me. Getting me up at this ungodly hour..." 

He was running a message to one of Emilia's cargo ships, basically to the effect of, "Capatin, please remove the charges of following Wednesday's port of call, as I specificly yada yada yada. . ." 

"I can't belive Emilia would do this to me! I need my beauty sleep!" 

Emilia, meanwhile, was of course in bed asleep. 

"One of these days, Alice, POW BANG!! to the moon!!" 

The ships were doing their intricate dances to avoid the maritime equivilent of roller derby. The shouts of the old sea dogs were laced with profanity. And that was just the women. . . 

A large ship, of unknown markings, glided into port. Just as Jack walked past, a beautiful, raven haired beauty leaned out over the edge of the boat. 

"JACK!!! JACK STILES!!!" she called out.

Jack pulled himself up short. He didn't know this girl, as much as he would wish that he did. She was almost as pretty as Emilia. . . He shook himself, and waited for the gangplank to decend so this stunning creature could explain herself. 

As if something like that needed an explaination. She was so exquisite, and a little on the youngish side. 

After a brief interval, she was running down the gangplank, skirts flying, bosom heaving... 

Right into Jack's arms. 

"DADDY!!!" 

Jack was stunned. _Daddy?!? Oh, boy, this was going to take some explianing. . ._

"Young lady, I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage..." 

She pouted. Oh, god, she POUTED! That just wasn't fair! Jack could never resist a pout, even when it was somebody claiming to be his daughter. 

"But, um... I'm sure there's a simple explaination for this. Did you just call me... Daddy?" 

"Oh, Daddy, you're such a kidder!!" The beauty raised a delicate fist and punched Jack once on the shoulder. Hard. Very hard. 

"Ow!" What on earth? Who did this girl think she was, Kentcky Sue? 

Kentucky. . . . 

Ken. . . 

Oh, good lord. . . 

No. No it couldn't be true. He and Sue went back a ways, but, not _this_ far. This girl was at least 20. 

"Ok, sister, I don't know who you think you're foolin', but Jack Stiles ain't nobody's daddy." 

"Daddy," the girl moaned. "Stop it. You're embarassing me..." 

A smallish crowd was gathering. Included among them were a few French soldiers, who were pointedly staring at the girl. She seemed not to noticed this, but even so, she blushed just a tad and her bosom heaved harder. 

A little man dressed in the traditional garb of a sailor (ie: rags encrusted with salt and cheap rum.) shuffled his way toward the girl, holding her luggage. He seemed. . . intimidated by her. 

"Miss?" 

She whirled on him, her hand on her hip, as if reaching for a weapon. The sailor hit the dirt. 

"I've only got you luggage, miss! Please, don't shoot!" the sailor wailed. 

The girl smiled prettily, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. She handed the terrified sailor a coin, which she pulled out of her cleavage. 

"Don't spend it all in one place," she purred. "Now SCRAM!" 

The sailor did just that, his outfit gaining one more layer of filth as he ran. 

She turned back to Jack, who had watched the scene with a bit of bemusement, and even more befudlement. "B" words abounding. 

"Daddy, will you help me with my luggage?" 

"Look, missy, I've told you once and I'll say it again, I'm NOT..." 

"Is there a problem here, monsier?" 

A French soldier had made his way over, attracted by the commotion. _Greeeeat, thought Jack, this could get complicated._

"There's no problem here," chirped the girl. "Just a family reunion at the dock of the bay!!" She grabbed Jack in a fierce bear hug, giggling. Suddenly she whispered to him through gritted teeth; "Shut up and play along, you fool! It's my life at stake!" 

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**_TO BE CONTINUED_**


	2. Daddy, can you spare some time?

_Sorry that the last chapter was so danged short. I was trying to experiment, as this is my first fic, and was having monster trouble getting this sucker to upload. May I just say that I HATE not being able to use IE5 as my uplaoding mechanism? No? Ah. Oh well. . . _

By the way, if I ever try to write an HTML document again, shoot me in the foot to stop me from coding again, 'kay? 

As before, I would like to thank emmygirl, LMRS and aeverett for contributing to this story idea. I have played with the story somewhat, kids, so if you see a few of your phrases mingled in with my own, I swear I'm just re-writing to make the story make a little more sense. That's all. 

As before, all characters except the mystery girl belong to Rennaisaince Pictures. I own nothing. Litterally. So don't bother sueing me, as I am so poor I can't even pay attention. 

And Awaaaaa-y we go. . . . 

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Jack realized with dismay that the French solider addressing him and the strange girl was none other than Captain Brougard's second in command; Dussel Von Klampberg. The man was a perfect beaurocrat, pushing pencils was his favorite pastime, and his neck was so stiff that you could use him as a sun dial. He loved to regale people with stories of his illustrious ancestry. (Despite his name, he was quite French.) The man even carried a little book of rules at his side. Which he was getting ready to whip out. 

Jack knew that this was trouble with a capital "TRUH." 

Von Klampberg said, "Monsier Stiles, what are you doing with the beautiful lady here?" With that, he turned to the girl and said, "I don't think I have had the pleasure. . . .", while trying to kiss her hand. The girl didn't try to pull away, but Jack saw her stiffen imperceptably. Jack also saw the look on Von Klampberg's face. It wasn't pretty. _Time for evasive action. . . ._

"Actually, Von Klampberg, this girl is my, uh. . . distant cousin on my father's side." Jack explained, trying to get himslef out of this difficult position. Not only with Von Klampberg, but the girl, too. 

"Daddy, stop it! You recognize your little girl don't you?" she said with a hurt expression on her face. Which Jack knew was strictly for Von Klampberg's benifit. 

This was not going according to plan. Jack disliked it when people pushed him into doing things **their** way, as opposed to **his** way. He looked back at the girl, and made a decision. _Fine. If Little Miss Bossy Britches wants me to play along, then play along I shall!_ Abruptly, Jack proclaimed, "Jenny!! ItÕs so great to see you!" He swept her into a fierce bear hug, and whispered to her, "How's this, 'Jenny'?" 

"Perfect. Keep it up." she whispered back. 

Pulling back, Jack took a moment to take all of her in. At first glance, yes, she was young. Less then twenty. But if you took a moment to really look at her, there were almost invisible lines around her eyes and mouth. Her hair, which was raven black and curled, was one color of black. Jack, as a spy, knew that that meant only one thing; she used hair dyes. To cover grey, perhaps, but Jack caught a glimpse of her roots. They were blonde. So she was covering her natural hair color. Ergo she was hiding something. Or from someone. . . 

"Jenny, dear, it's been ages! You should've written daddy a letter to let him know you were coming!" Jack laughed uproariously, and added, "Have you been eating your broccoli?" 

Von Klampberg eyed them suspiciously. "Jenny" gritted her teeth and said quietly, through a forced smile, "Don't do it up too thick, Stiles." 

She then clearly said, "Of course I have daddy! You know me and my broccoli! Can't get enough of the stuff!" 

Von Klampberg tried to interupt. "Excuse me. . ." 

Jack plowed ahead, regardless. "So, what brings you to Pulau Pulau, daughter?" 

"Excuse me. . ." 

Jenny answered his question, ignoring the soldier. "I've just finished Finishing School, and Mummy said that I should round out my education traveling. . ." 

"Excuse me. . ." 

"And seeing as I've never traveled that much and you were here, this was the logical choice!" 

**"EXCUSE ME!!!"**

"Hey, no need to yell, Klampy, we ain't deef." chuckled Jack. 

Von Klampberg blew out a sharp exhalation of air. "Why did you say she was your distant cousin, Messier Stiles?" He looked smug. Like he'd just caught a particularly naughty puppy going poo poo on the rug, and knows that said puppy is going to be in the stew tonight. 

Jack thought fast. But "Jenny" thought faster. 

"Oh, heavens, Monsier Von Klampberg! That's an old inside family joke!" 

"Yeah," said Jack. "You don't want to know what I call my mother!" 

"I know what I'd call your mother. . ." muttered Von Klampberg under his breath. Before Jack could give the soldier the pummeling he so rightously deserved, "Jenny" grabbed his arm. 

"We should get going, daddy. Adieu, Monsier Von Klampberg. It's been a delight interacting with you, and I hope to do so again in the distant future." 

And with that parting barb, "Jenny" picked up her luggage, handed it to Jack, wrapped her arm around the krook of his elbow and steered him away from the docks. 

They hadnÕt gotten 20 feet out of hearing range when Jack whispered, _sotto voice,_ "So, 'Jenny,' whatÕs the story?" 

"Not now, Daddy. We're being followed _don't look_ by that charming gendarming." He was glad she had stopped him from looking. Out of his peripheral vision, Jack saw a furtive movement off to the left. It was indeed Von Klampberg. And he was moving like someone who had absolutely no experience following people. "Keep up the charade a moment longer, till we're in private. Then, I'll tell you everything. I promise." 

Jack and Jenny continued their amble along the side of the road. She added loudly, "So tell me, daddy, what have you been doing here on Pulau Pulau? Not up to your usual chicanery, I hope." 

"Oh, you know, Jenny, a little of this, a little of that. Imports, exports, the works." Jack was trying to keep an eye on Von Klampberg while at the same time keeping up a conversation with "Jenny" and walk straight too. Confusing. 

"You're not going to try and sell me swampland, are you?" 

"Can't." 

"Why ever not?" 

"No swamps on a tropical island. But I do have a swell option on Independance Hall you might be interested in. . ." 

She laughed hartily. Jenny laughed like. . . Kentucky Sue. _How deep does this girl's knowledge go? How carefully has she studied me? And Emilia?_ Jack mused to himself. Whoever she was, she was no piker. She was the real thing. 

A spy. Just like him. Certain puzzle pieces fit together, no doubt about it. But who's side was she on? 

"I missed you, Daddy." She smiled up at him. "I missed your jokes. When will you be able to come back home?" 

"Not for a while, kiddo. I've got a lot invested here on Pulau Pulau and I just can't pick up stakes and skedaddle." Jack noticed that they'd somehow lost Von Klampberg. Oh, wait, no, there he was, behind that stall selling Spanish Fly. So the charade must continue. . . 

"Mummy misses you too, you know," the girl said coyly. "She asked me to give you this." She handed Jack a gold necklace with a heart pendant, which was either the real thing, or a damned good replica of a necklace that he had given Sue years ago. He flipped it over. 

The inscription wasn't there. The inscription had read, _"To my Sweet Sue, Don't take any wooden nickles." _ So this was a replica. But this girl knew enough to give it to him. And she also knew that he'd miss the inscription. She was trying to tell him something, but what? She eyed his reaction, and nodded slightly. 

"I hope nothing's amiss, daddy?" 

"Nothing at all. I'm just trying to think of something, that's all." 

She nodded again, and said with a smirk, "I hope it doesn't hurt too much." 

Jack raised an eyebrow at her and said, "Oh ha ha. Very funny. Listen, young lady, if you were a few years younger I'd fan your britches good." 

This caused "Jenny" to raise her own eyebrows. She didnÕt reply at first, but Jack could see the laughter in her eyes. Finally she said, "Daddy, who's that charming blonde coming our way?" 

Jack stopped in mid-stride. _Uh-oh. . ._

It was Emilia. And she was on the warpath. Jack swore he could hear _The Ride of the Valkeries_ playing somewhere. . . 

Jack and Jenny watched as Emilia came stalking toward them. Tossing a casual look over his shoulder, Jack tried to spot Von Klampberg. The soldier was nowhere to be seen. Which didn't mean that he was gone, not by a long shot. He whispered to "Jenny", "HeÕs not there." 

"I know. But don't. . ." 

Before she could tell Jack what to don't, Emilia was upon them. 

She seemed not to see "Jenny" for a moment, but Jack knew that that was her way of disaproving of his choice of companion. She said, "Really, Mr. Stiles, does the concept, 'Time is Money,' mean absolutely nothing to you? Could you be so incompetent as to take a good hour to deliver a simple missive? Or were you distracted again?" This last was accompanied with a pointed glance at "Jenny." The brunette blushed, and slightly turned away, feigning embarrassment. Jack knew that she was looking for their tail. So Jack grasped the nettle. 

"Well, Em. Um. This is going to sound really weird. Please hear me out on this. . . but. . . this is Jenny and she's. . ." 

"His daughter," proclaimed "Jenny." 

Jack watched as Emilia's mouth dropped in amazement. "Your daughter?" She asked in surprised. 

Jack spun on "Jenny." _Wait a cotton pickin' minute! This is EM! I can't tell EM I have a daughter! She'll flip!_ This is what Jack wanted to say to the girl. But what came out was, "Yeah. I guess." 

"You guess?" asked Emilia, obviously confused. 

"Oh," "Jenny" whispered, "He never told you about me?" 

"Well, no," said Emilia. She was perplexed. She was sure that she knew Jack well enough by now that he'd have mentioned that he had a daughter. That he didn't just went to prove how complex of a man that he was, and you never can really know the person that you love. . . But it still pissed her off. 

"Oh. Oh dear." the girl quivered her lower lip. She looked as if she was about to cry. She fanned her face with her hand. 

"Now hold on there, sister..." stammered Jack. This was going too far. To dazzle the yokels was one thing, but this was _Emilia. . ._

"SISTER?!? You call me sister?" "Jenny" sobbed. She grabbed Jack by his lapels and yanked him a few steps away from Emilia. 

Emilia started to protest, started to follow, but she stopped herself. _Even if it is a former lover, and not his daughter, I have no right to interfere,_ she thought to herself. _Besides, a daughter could be just what Jack needed to get him to settle down. . ._ Emilia shook herself. That would get her nowhere... 

Meanwhile, "Jenny" had leaned in close to Jack. "Ok, hotshot, what didn't you understand about shut up and play along?" 

"I think it was the 'shut up' part..." 

"Shut up. Look. I came to this godforsaken little island to find you. You're the only one who can help me. As far as everybody, and I do mean _everybody_," she said, shooting a pointed look at Emilia, "is concerned, I'm your daughter Jenny, with your former lover, Kentucky Sue." 

"Look, Emilia knows Sue. Emilia can sniff out a rat faster than. . . than. . . . Well, faster than you can imagine" 

"Oh, I don't know. I'm a pretty fast girl." 

Jack gulped. 

"So keep up the pretence for just a little longer. Until we can get somewhere safe. Then I'll tell you the whole story." 

"Why not now?" pressed Jack. 

"We're in an open air market place, and there are people who would just as soon slit our throats for a penny as look at us. Soon. I promise. Now please, come on." 

"Jenny" frog marched Jack back over to Emilia, who was looking slightly put out. Jack tried not to think about exactly what the information that he had a "daughter" would do to their budding relationship. Jack sighed deeply and dramatically, and said, "Ok. Em, this is Jenny. I hadn't told you about her because, well, it was personal. And you know I hate mixing personal and business." 

Emilia stared at Jack for a moment. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She couldn't help it. She laughed right in Jack's face. "What a preposterous load of poppycock, Jack Stiles! You mix personal with whatever business happens to come along at the moment!" 

Jack ignored her and continued, but he at least had the decency to look chagrined. "Jenny is going to stay with us for a while, and I'd be really happy if we never discuss this arrangement again." 

"Well, Mr. Stiles, it appears that your sordid past has finaly caught up with you." smirked Emilia. "Maybe now you'll appriciate the finer subtleties of a stable and loving relationship." Emilia couldnÕt believe her own words, this time. _Ye gods, I sound like I'm volunteering! Am I. . .?_

Jack stiffened at her advice. "There's nothing subtle about marriage, sister. I'd sooner have a cannonball tied to my earlobes and tossed in sea before I get married." 

Emilia made a funny huffing noise, turned a lovely shade of scarlet and turned on heel and stormed away, back towards her house. Jack watched her go, with a large dollop of guilt and regret washing over him. To cover his emotions, he yelled after her, "What'd I say? You've always known that!" 

"Nice one, daddy. Shall I make arrangements for your wedding? Would you prefer a traditional ceremony?" 

Jack had fianlly had enough. He had momentarily forgotten the buxom brunette, but now reality came back in a tidal wave of anger. _Who did this girl think she was to come trouncing into my life? Spreading lies and innuendo in her wake, charming the male half of the populace and pissing off the female half. _

Maybe she is my daughter after all. 

He grabbed her wrist, pulled her close, her head snapping back, her eyes widening in shock. 

"Who. Are. You." 

"The important question here, Mr. Stiles, is who am I not?" She eyed him for a moment, and added, "Or shall I denounce you as the Daring. . . ." 

"Ok. That's enough," he interupted her. 

Jack, still holding the girl by her wrist, pulled her through the streets of Pulau-Pulau. "Where are we going, daddy?" 

"You want a private place? I've got one for you. And no funny stuff, kiddo. I'm packing." 

Her eyes widened again, but not from shock or horror. She looked. . . impressed. And more than a little surprised. 

The vendors hawking their shoody goods paused for a brief moment, watching them weave their way through the bazaar. They stared after the girl who was with Jack. She looked familiar, somehow... but the next customer would attract his attention and the matter was forgotten. 

A few soldiers turned their heads to watch the duo pass, and something would nag at their minds, but they forgot it a moment later. They were intent on harrasment of aforementioned vendors, and had smaller fish to fry. 

Jack was in such a hurry to get to his private place. He wanted to get the full story out of this girl so urgently, that he didn't even see the posters that dotted the water front, all of them bearing a picture. And a warning. 

_**"The Black Widow. Supposed to be armed and dangerous. Accused of foul play, she has killed her last three husbands on their wedding nights, through untracable means. She was last seen boarding a ship headed to Pulau Pulau, so be on the alert."**_

Above this warning was a picture of Jenny. 

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HA! So is "Jenny" really a murderess? What's her real name, anyway? Why did Jack pick that particular name for this girl? Is there some strange backstory there? Oh, you better belive it. . . 

TO BE CONTINUED. . .


	3. 

_Ok. Chapter the third. I realized after I'd gotten everything squared away coding wise that I'd accidentally left out an important part of chapter 1! D'oh! Sigh. . . Maybe I should just cut my losses and take up tatting. _

No, I can't do that. What would happen to my loyal fans? (All three of them, at least. . .) 

As before, all characters are property of RenPics, except Jenny. She's mine. For all the good that'll do me. . . 

And a super dooper big thank you to all my JoAT forum buddies, most of whom can now be found over on MaryD's Talking Xena board. 

Story time. And please, review review review!! 

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Jack led the girl away. Away from the market, away from prying eyes, away from snoopy blonde partners and weaselly French soldiers. 

They were watched. . . 

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After about 15 minutes of jungle trek, Jack and Jenny came to a cliff face that loomed over the Pacific ocean. Jenny had seemed ill equipped to handle a jungle hike, and had fallen on him once or twice. So when they reached the beach, Jenny looked justifiably relieved. The beach was deserted as far as the eye could see. Which wasn't that far, really. Less than 50 meters to either side. To the north, wild, animal jungle, which the duo had just emerged from. To the south, rocky outcroppings, which would be easy to climb, if you were, say, a mountain goat. 

Jenny tried to memorize exactly where they were, but since her knowledge of Pulau Pulau geography was less than stellar, she failed. So when Jack led her to the mouth of a hidden cave in the cliff face, she was genuinely startled. She hadn't noticed it at all, not until she was three feet away from it. Yes, this was a good private spot. Jenny took the lead, hiked up her skirts and waddled into the cave, with Jack close behind. 

Jack took a moment before entering the cave to watch the jungle for signs of a tail. There were none. 

Upon entering the cave, Jack saw Jenny inspecting it with a diligence that would have surprised him had he not guessed she was a spy. She was looking for a bolt hole. A back door, as it were. Without a word, Jack pointed to a crack that, at first glance, was hardly the size of a small child. But a grown man could crawl through it and get out of the cave 25 metres up the beach. Jenny nodded silently, understanding, and settled onto a nearby rock. 

Her hands folded demurely in her lap, Jack did a double take when he saw a gleam of gold on her left hand. A wedding ring. 

Curiouser and curiouser. . . 

"How did you find this wonderful spot?" she inquired. 

"I found it one drear November morn. In other words, it's not important," he said brusquely. He had found the cave one morning when, after a particularly drunken night before, hadn't had the courage to go home to Emilia. "So, spill the beans, kiddo. What's the story here?" 

"Where shall I begin, Mr. Stiles?" 

"The beginning sounds about right. . ." 

She cocked an eyebrow at him and said simply, "I'm a spy, just like you." 

"Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?" 

"I'm older than I appear. Do stop goofing around!" 

"Hey, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly..." 

The look she shot Jack could've put him six feet under. They were surrounded by the coolth of the cave, the gentle waves battering the sand a few feet away. She was wearing a perfume that was probably called Spring Mist but should be called Justifiable Rape and be sold only under perscription. She was lit from behind by the warm morning rays that were streming into the cave, and looked like an angel come to earth. 

Jack fell in love with her then and there... and then remembered Emilia. And the spell was broken. He remembered all the things this brat had put him through. 

"Ok. Ok. So you're a spy. Who's side are you on?" 

"My own," she replied curtly. "I'm an American, of course, but I've been... framed. For a horrible crime that I didn't commit." 

"Let me guess. Your husband was found dead on your wedding night, right?" 

Jenny jumped off the rock she had been perched on in a heartbeat. The next thing that Jack knew, there was a pistol pointed right at his heart. 

For a long moment, neither moved. Jack tried to calculate the what the odds were that he'd make it to the "back door" before she shot him. They weren't good. 

Then she said quietly, menacingly, "You have exactly two seconds to explain how you knew that, Stiles." 

"Your wedding ring. I saw your wedding ring. . ." Jack held his breath, hoping that he'd live long enough to take another one. 

Jenny blushed. Just as suddenly as it had appeared, the pistol was gone. Jack could not say where, exactly, it had gone to. 

"Sorry. After being accused of a crime I didn't commit, I'm a tad jumpy." 

"A tad?" 

"Ok, a lot jumpy." 

Jack settled back against the wall of the cave. And before Jenny knew it, she was staring down the barrel of _his_ gun. Her eyes opened a little wider. Before she could question him, he said, "Insurance policy. _I_ don't like it when beautiful ladies pull guns on me. Makes _me_ a tad jumpy. Besides, I did warn you. So, sing, little birdy, why did you pick me as your cover?" 

Jenny slowly sat back down on the rock, aware of Jack's attentive stare. She sighed and said, "Well, Mr. Stiles, to begin at the beginning, I had high access in Washington. Very high. Until my unfortunate circumstances, I was highly regarded as the second best spy ever to come down the pipe." 

"Second best?" 

"You're first." 

"Oh." 

"I knew all about Pulau-Pulau. And Miss Emilia Rothschild. And the Daring Dragoon. And Kentucky Sue." 

"That explains the necklace, then." 

"Precicely. I knew it would get your attention. So when I became desperate, you were the first logical choice. It all fit. I'm the right age, appearence wise, to be your illegitimite daughter with Kentucky Sue." 

"How old are you?" 

"Tut tut! Mr. Stiles, never ask a lady her age! Anyway, I knew Emilia would be so amused at the situation that she wouldn't pry. At least, not too much. And Pulau-Pulau is remote enough for me to hide until I can catch the person or persons who did kill my last husband." 

"Last husband?" 

"Yes. Last husband. Leave it at that, Mr. Stiles. So, until I can safely reveal myself to the killer, I'm your daughter. The only problem is is that there's quite a large price on my head, dead or alive. If you get me out of this alive, as opposed to the alternative, I'll pay you." 

Without missing a beat, Jack asked, "How much?" 

Jenny grinned. "You are mercenary aren't you? $500. In gold. Unmarked coins. Understood?" 

"Agreed." Jack holstered his gun, slowly, making sure that the girl wouldn't freak out. She watched calmly, then held out her hand. 

In her palm were two bullets. Jack's gun held two bullets. Ergo. . . 

"How in the hell. . .?" exclaimed Jack, pulling out his gun again, opening the chamber and. . . seeing no bullets. The little snot had swiped his bullets! 

"Never warn someone that you're armed. Big mistake." 

Jack could only blink at the girl for a moment. Then he repeated, "How in the hell. . .?" 

In answer, the beauty stood up and began walking over to Jack. Then, she tripped over an invisible obstacle, and went flying into Jack's arms with a small Oof." When she pulled away, Jack saw that in her right hand was the necklace she had given him earlier that morning. Which had been firmly esconsed in his waistcoat pocket. He hadn't felt a thing. 

"I have many skills." She smirked, and handed the necklace back to him. 

Jack goggled at her for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Good gravy, you certainly do! Remind me never to piss you off." 

"Don't ever piss me off," she replied with an eyebrow raised. 

"No more funny stuff, tho, ok? We're in this together, so no more guns drawn?" he said as he extened his elbow towards her. 

She took the proffered elbow with her right hand and raised her left one, the first three fingers pointing strait up. "Scout's honor." 

"Yeah, but were you ever a scout?" 

They made their way to the mouth of the cave, where Jack suddenly turned to her and said, "Hey, you warned me that you were armed. Aren't you breaking your own rule?" 

":What are you talking about?" 

"I mean the gun you pulled on me!" he replied as they sauntered up the beach towards the jungle. 

"What gun?" 

Jack shook his head and laughed. "Nevermind," he said as they disappeared into the thick jungle foliage. 

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Across the island, a very different meeting was taking place between two people. And neither of them were as beautiful as Jenny, nor as ruggedly handsome as Jack, so we'll skip the physical introductions and move right onto the meat of the interlude. 

Captian Broguard, Second Battalion Commander, Security Officer, and general jerkwad, was standing in Govenor Croque's office, his hat tucked neatly under one arm. He was feeling a little restless. These sorts of meetings were boring to him. He'd rather be out on the field, trying to track down the Dragoon. Croque was sitting at an ornate desk, his head down over some reports. He looked smug. 

Croque looked up from the sheaf of papers that littered his mohagany desk and said, "So you say this Black Widow is on our island, Broguard? And she is posing as Jaque Stiles' daughter?" 

"Oui, Guv-en-or. Von Klampberg told me that he'd spotted the woman early this morning." 

Croque looked thoughtful. "Von Klampberg, eh? Isn't he your new man?" 

Broguard nodded. "Oui, Guv-en-or. A great soldier. Promoted him as soon as he was off the boat from the mother country." 

Croque nodded in turn. "It may be that he's in for another promotion, Broguard. Continue." 

Broguard paled slightly. The next available promotion was his job. He pressed on. "Von Klampberg said that she has changed in apperance slightly, but he recognized her immediately. She somehow managed to get Messier Stiles to afford her protection. My theory is that he's infatuated, and will be stupid enough to try and seduce her. Which is known to be fatal." 

Croque giggled. "Oh, this is too rich! Either Jaque will be stupid enough to marry her, and she'll kill him, or I will arrest him for harboring a murderess... It's too easy, Broguard! Dissmissed. Find Stiles and the girl. Bring them here. I want to gloat." Broguard began to leave, but then noticed that Croque glanced furtively around and reached into a drawer of his desk. 

Broguard sighed. He knew what was coming. 

Mr. Nipples was on Croque's hand. He was talking to the puppet again. 

"Oui, Mr. Nipples. We're going to gloat, aren't we? Yes we are!" 

Broguard cleared his throat, to remind the govenor that he wasn't alone. 

Croque jumped about a foot and a half, unceremoniously yanked the cow off his hand and slammed it into the desk drawer. Unfortunately, he also slammed the drawer on his little finger. He yowled in pain and embarassment. 

"Are you still here? Go, arrest the girl and Jaque. It's easy." 

"Oui, guv-en-or." Broguard shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Then, he spoke again. "Um, Guv-en-or. . ." 

"WHAT?" 

"This girl, she is very beautiful. I saw her wanted poster. It would be a shame if something hapened to her. . ." Broguard squirmed a little more. 

"What are you suggesting, Broguard?" 

"I want her." 

"She's a Murderess!" 

"She's a beautiful murderess!" 

Croque thought for a moment. If anybody could get a girl to behave, it was Broguard. And, worse came to worse, Broguard would die so happy... and who was he to stand in the way of that? 

Besides, Broguard had just caught him with Mr. Nipples. Very embarrassing. 

"Very well, Broguard, the girl is yours. But make it at least appear correct and nice. The last thing we need is a scandal." 

Broguard clicked his heels together in salute. "Oui, mon capitaine." He whirled on one foot and was gone. 

"Idiot." 

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_Ok, there you go! Chapter three! I mean, we all knew Broguard was a putz, but to WANT to get at this girl who he thinks is a murderer? Hello! Duh! Oh well. _

In the next chapter, we'll find out where Jack got Jenny's name from, and what Emilia is thinking of this whole situation. Keep those reviews coming please! I love reviews. They are my bread and butter! But please, try to make them a little more in depth? "It's funny" is great and all, but I need constructive critisisim too! Thanks! 


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